疑问

今天是 bii 的生日~
生日快乐 bii~

今天的我原本的心情
都还蛮好的~
因为是我的爱人第一天的19岁~
但是突然
我收到一封 mail
我的心情变得很复杂
不知道该怎样
我该相信他
还是要问他
还是当做什么都不知道？
我真的不知道

突然之间
被别人叫我离开他远点
因为他是她的

到底发生什么事？
有谁能告诉我啊？
这样让我有点难受
我不知道我该想你谁

bii
我不想再失望多一次
也不想再次的委屈自己
因为这已经不是第1次了
这个女孩子
已经骂了我2次了
也不能用骂来形容
但是我不知道要怎样形容

第1次
是我们刚在一起的时候
当我们还是17 岁的时候
她也找过我一次
跟我说： alvin is mine , you go away
现在我们已经19 岁了
她再次的找上了我
说： alvin mine,you no love him ! me sucky sucky him long time! Get out of my store
还在你的wall post
说：
alvin, me love you long time. Melody never find out! me sucky sucky!

天啊~
让我觉得你很鸡叻
女人当中你也算最cheap的一个
我不是要骂你还是什么

我承认当我一看到这些时
我有一度的怀疑自己的决定是否是对还是错
也有一度的怀疑你是否真心的对我
让我的脑海出现很多的画面
但是当我在冲凉房试着让自己冷静的想回时
我有一度的选择相信你
因为她的样子让我觉得很鸡~
我该对自己有信心
才能对你有信心

我希望我选择闭嘴
是好的啦
但是
...
我的心始终还是会有个疑问
haiz ~
所以我说： 感情的事，不是个个人都玩得起

bik cik

哇老~
super lag !!
everytime when night my line sure very lag de !!
make me feel bik cik to online
and i wanted to deleted my mail box lo
seriously is going to boom lo
already going 2000 jor !!!
walao
delete untill i scare jor !!
sei mr gay ar !!
boom my facebook wall till my mail box going to boom !!!

胃痛篇

我胃痛了
我讨厌等人
为什么我还要等
为什么出去玩/出去
就要忘记我还在这里等着你
我或许笨
不应该等
但是
这已经是我的习惯
我.......

.....

我突然觉得很..不舒服的感觉
我自己也不知道为什么
就觉得很没有安全感
！！！
请不要用那种语气跟我说话！！
我不喜欢
让我真的觉得很没有安全感！！
虽然我知道你是在跟我玩
但是我觉得一点都不好玩
不是我玩不起
而是我不喜欢这种游戏

bii
i miss you
hate you also !!!!!

enjoy day~

today
we actually plan to have movie at 1u
but !!!
all the parking full !!
so kua zhang lo ~~ｈａｈａ
then we went to the curve to have movie
PRIEST!!!
hahaha i slp all the time~
hahaha
for me this movie not really nice
coz i was sleeping all the time~
maybe is boring la or maybe my medicine still progresssing !!
hahaha
bii keep push me ask me watched with him~ｈａｈａ
but i really very tired and sleepy le dear
hahahaha
after movie we walk all the way to ikea to try the ice cream
!!!
but sold out !!!
hahaa
then we walk back to have pan mee~ hahaa
bii keep boom me lo !!
haha
i love today~
i enjoy today~ｈａｈａ


happy birthday to MY DADDY!!!

跌倒篇

pig mouth !!!hahahhaa
he is a cute guy
he is very good to me
hahhaha
but he always bully me !!!
make me don know whether want to angry or laugh !! hahaa


今天！！！





可算是历史重演啊！





我的人生！！





我竟然跌进水沟里！！！





我的天啊~





这是我人生中的阴影啊~





我的童年阴影！！





曾经我被我的哥哥推我进水沟





然后我的脚是完全伸不出来的





然后我的爸爸是死命的拔我出来~





然后我的脚留下了疤痕！！！





今天的我





竟然在餐馆前面





跌进水沟





当我的脚插进时，是如此的肮脏啊！





什么垃圾都有！





想到我都想吐！！！！





我的脚竟然被污染了！！！！





重点来了：





这次没有人扶我





是我自己爬起来的！！





掌声鼓励鼓励！





但是我还是流泪了





哈哈





因为真的很痛





也很丢脸！！！





流血了~吓死我！





哈哈

Sport day Little Inventor

today Little Inventor having a big day
which is sport day
gosh!!!
damn tired today !! super tired!!
thank god i drank alot of honey yesterday night~
if not i think i cant talk today!! hahhaa
i think ya~
as a teacher must drink honey everyday
so that ya..........wont lost voice or sore throat
!!!
today super busy~
7something reach puchong
then start to busy all the girls for cheer leading
tie hair la..
change their custome la
then boy change their pants la~
after that get ready to marching lo~
after march
is cheerleading !!
although my girls and boys bit blur
but is ok ~
try and enjoy is important~
after that,
i non stop to run up run down
get ready my 5 years old children activity!!!
is non stop !!!
i was very gan jiong!!
keep scream there coz want them to be more fast ~ haha
although the end they all also get consolation
but is ok for me
at least children participate
they enjoy
they try to fall down
coz for me i wil think that
if a child never fall down
they wont grow up
so let them try everythings
children, teacher really proud of you all !!

after finish all the children part
is parents turn
wow
super super excited man !!
especially the tuck on wall !!!
Jay Jay parents really nice la !!
super friendly!!ｈａｈａａ
thank you jayjay father help us to won the trophy!!ｈａｈａ
while we watching they play
we also feel want to play..
suddenly miss wong
allow all the teacher to play!!
cool man !!ｈａｈａ　
finally our dream come true !!
hahhaa
seriously ............
my hand untill now also feel pain !!
im on the 4th places
gosh !!!
actually we win jor de lo !!
miss wong 没有吹口哨！！
弄到我们到最后
后面的人放弃了
开始松手
然后我们前面的人全部被拉走了！！
好不服气！！
but seriously we realy do enjoy it !!!
really very excited !!!
cant forget the feelings that i having just now !!!
hahhahaha


bii..
i drive very carefull jor de lo !
just sambil drive sambil text with you only
thats why you will feel i so fast reach !!
hahhahaa
don worry
i know how to take care myself
i know how to protect myself
hahaha
don so worry bout me la
im not small baby
but im big baby for you
i know that!!!
hahhahaaaaha
somemore sure you wil add the "fat fat" infront
!!!!
sei fatty you !!! hahhaa
no fat also give you call dao fat jor la !!ｈａａｈｈａ
i was lying on bed to type all this !!ｈａｈａ
hug hug !!!
coz baby's eyes going to close jor~
dear night ~
hug tight me~raining somemore thunder:'(
muackz~

情绪有点低落的我

在这几个小时里
都过得有点的矛盾
我的脑海
一直都出现一个问题
我在怀疑我自己！！！
我在怀疑我自己的决定是否对还是错~
怎么搞的？
为什么我已经选择接受
但
我还要去怀疑
！！！
简直就是多此一举！！！
可是我觉得有点没有安全感
每当我听到你的电话响
我的心就有点...
不知道要用什么字形容的感觉
不是怕也不是吃醋也不是不爽
就有种不懂什么样的心情
然后
我就会闭嘴
不想说话
不是你做得不好
还是什么
是我的问题~真的是我的问题
可能就像朋友们所说的
有第一次，就会有第二次
大佬，啊姐
有谁想要有这样的第二次哦？

虽然我们都已经跟对方说过
什么都不要去想
珍惜这一次的复合
珍惜现在的我们
珍惜现在我们的日子
珍惜现在就好
因为我们大家都不想让这个变成遗憾
也不想让它变成一个没有句号的回忆

突然之间觉得很挣扎
有点痛苦
开始我的消极念头了
情绪有点低落的我

my story with picture

this is my cheerleading group member~ all my darlings and dears~

we are preparing and get ready for tomorrow sport day~
when break time we play play~this is my good students~ 6 years old~
which praise me pretty girl de~
she really good in academic, attitude, everythings~ good model for our school !!



wearing their custome !!all become handsome and pretty~
holding the orange pom pom !
is my favourite colour le~ hahaha
support support !!!!
so tomorrow i will wear a orange bra! orange panties! hahaha
too bad i dint get a orange sport shoes !
nvm i will go hongkong and buy end of this year !!!!
wait me !!!hahaha




this is my friend she is teacher polly !!
we know each other for 13 years alrealdy !!
since we 7 years old we same class untill we form 5
after spm come to the same kindergarten work !!
gosh !!!
she is a cute girl !! but too bad !!
she don know how to be independence !!!
darling ar darling !! is time to grow up la !!!
learn to be independence !!!!



hahaaha perasan again !
holding polly phone and play again !!! haha
see , how pretty i am !! hahahahahaa



my hair long jor lo !!
so happy !! hahaha





we went to midvalley !!
for movie ~
sweet~
he said !! he want to acc me more longer~ so we stay inside his car
but !!!!
he was playing his phone !!!
:'(
see!!! guys is always like this !!!
speechless !!
hahaha
this is the proove ar !! fatty bii you !!!!

too bright the light !! hahha
but is sweet for me~
hugssssssssssss
miss you so so much!!!!

what a tiring day today

fuyoh !!
this week i will busy like hell !!
yesterday busy for their sport rehearsal
today in kindergarten
whole day i never enter class
train the cheerleading
train their sport
somemore we teacher have to demo for them
actually we wanted to play
because the game is super nice !!
called as *Shoot me if you can *
hahaha the game name already so nice
for sure the game is nice also !! so excited !!
haha
sei pollly lagi teruk !!
she said wanna aim my *bukit* and my *sungai* to shoot
hahhaa
today i learned this 2 new vocab in my life with her !!hahhaa
really boom lo she !!lame untill ....haha but i still love her very much~hahhaaa
after been busy the whole day
i reach my lovely home
i open my laptop and try to watch the dvd
but i slp !!!i terslp and the movie is still continue running
hahaha
untill bii message,call also don know
haha
oh my god~ i think i really need to find a doctor and ask jor
why i cant even remember what i had said when i was slping
usually ppl is when they drunk they cant remember back what they done on the night before
but for me !!
slp only !!
i think im really pig !!hahahaaa
hahahha now i waiting time pass
im waiting someone finish work ~ hahhaa
muackz ~ love you so much bii

er~ i think i sore throat now~
bit not feeling well when i try to telan my saliva ~
pain~ but i drank alot of water jor de lo !!!
:'(
i cant sick now !! coz i have kinda many things to do le !!
all the things are non stop for me!!
although im tired working with all my littles
but im still enjoy and happy
after you all sport !!!
i will rest 9 9 !!!

10.05.2011 a good start !!!

today finish my rehearsal

i went to meet bii's house

then we go to 1u again to have movie~

9th of may we catched a movie Fast 5 jor

is 8.50pm de movie~

after movie we went to supper then reached home at 1 something midnight

then today 10th of may

after work go 1u aagain to movie again

this time is the detective act by aaron kwok de~

is at 4.20pm !!! hahaa

too bad~

sorry bii, i was too tired so i fall a sleep many times while watching the movie~

hahhaha coz im a pig !! hahaa

after finish the movie by 6 something~

we went to walk walk around ~

then we went to buy things~

haha

finally i bought a 手链

but this time is with you ~ hahha

coz my plan is buy a 手链for myself only

but who knows ..now is we 2 gether buy the same things hahha

hehhee~i love it so much ~

thanks dear

~~~~~

and also bought a ring as well~

hahaha

really happy today~

miss you so so so much dear~

thank you for everythings you gave me today~

really a wonderful day for me~

this part is special for someone

Mr.D:

sorry Mr

i really don know what should i say now

and i really heart not feeling well

i just don want to hurt you only~

but i know

untill the end i also hurt you jor

and as what i have told you last time *last week*

there is someone in my heart

yes i said that i will let it go and try to accept new things

but LOVE IS BLIND

and i also don know why

i just really don wish to see you sad again

maybe 1stly i did wrong

i should not so close to you

so that now i wont feel so sorry to you

thanks for everythings you gave me as well

everysong you play for me

i really do enjoy and love it~

keep repeated it

yes you are special coz you did something other ppl they cant make it for me

thanks !!!!

and believe yourself~

give youself sometimes~

sure you will get a good girlfriend

coz you are a good man !!

believe me !!!

support you , friend !!!!!

wakakkaaa

5.7.2011

today after finish my last paper which is bm
i went to sunway!!!!
actually my paper is end at 11am
but i went out early 10.30 i came out already
then i move to sunway
coz me and carmen date each other !!
then when i alone windows shopping
and i stand there looking ppl skating that time
suddenly i get a call is from Mr G
he called me and asked where am i
then he said come and have a meet with me
then ok la since my carmen not yet reach
so we have a meet
he scare me when i am enjoy looking ppl skating
suddeny come behind me and scare me hahaha
then we went to my favourite place to eat
Shushi Zanmai
then something fish things happen there
which is i pour water on table hahahaa
damn fish la !!!hahhha
after eat then ciao~
i also ciao to meet with carmen ~
then we standing behind all the vip places while waiting all the 新秀come out
suddenly got a handsome guy ask us to go inside and sit down
haha so sweet~maybe he saw us wearing heels ba~haha
not bad not bad~那么细心的男生！！
then all the handsome pretty come out
oh gosh !! this year de participatience are damn geng lo !!!
after the shows end we sure catch the chance to take pic !!
i took pic with the Sam Wong! he is super funny man!! hahaha
after that , we go walk walk around~

good !
salary is out!!
is time to shopping!!
but !!!!
i wnat to go trip !!
so this month i have to save bit !!
so that i cna spent more when im trip !
and actually this month i got alot of things want to buy
topshop de shoes which costs RM89.90
i super love that shoes de!!! is like ballet shoes !!! i want to buy that so long time before i single i also already wanted to buy! untill now i already single for 5 months also not yet buy !!! tahan long time jor la man !!
i also feel want to buy a watch also !!
coz i want a watch is belong to myself!!
and i also hope can buy a 手链to myself~

this months what i need to buy is accesori only actually !!
and i went to forever 21 just now also ! god !!
cant tahan la man !!!hahhaa
later when i slp i will pray to god
like every year chirstmas how i pray to santa claus~
hope the things will appear and put it beside my bed~
when i wake up and open my eyes
the things the present is infront of me !! hahaa
start day dream again !!!
today i day dream alot man !! hahaa
while i watching ppl skate~
i also imagine that
i am alone in there~all the sport light are shoot on me
then wearing a white colour dress~
skating dancing
oh my god !!!
how proud is that man !! hahaa

today is the 3rd day i on diet!! haha
really going to pengsan jor !!!
hahahaha very hungry !!! hahahaaa
muackz~ i love myself so so so much !!! hahaha
one more time to say it !!
I am Single, But I am NOT available~
hahaha~ enjoy my life now

happy mood

hey hey
today my mood super good !!
super nice
super happy!!!
don ask why
coz i also don know~ hahaha
1 more paper to go
then i finish my exam !!then i can HOLIDAY lo
oh god!!!
hahahahha~
hahahahahahah~

我今天是我最鱼的一次
这么大
买了那么多次的经验
这次是我最没有脸的
买了卫生棉回家
冲好凉打开来
自己吓到
说不出话来！！
因为超级的长 ！！
40cm 原来是那么的长！！我的天啊！
我第一次买到那么过分的长！
自己吓到都不敢用！
但是
没办法啦！！ 哈哈哈哈哈啊哈哈哈哈
笑死我了！！ 哈哈啊

没有主题的一天

5月6号了
时间过得真的很快
半年有要到了~
19岁的这五个月以来
一直不停的发生事情在我的身上
从高潮跌到谷底也试过
从幸福跌倒。。。也试过
家里几乎也没有安宁过

总总的压力
全部都在一个时间里
推挤进来！！
我的妈啊！！
我哪承受得了哦？？
笑里隐藏着痛苦啊
我告诉过自己
从我单身后的那天，
我不允许自己过得那么的“灰”
所以我不停的在学习怎样possitive的去面对我的问题

我
不知道我该如何的面对我的家里
我真的要好好的谢谢你们每个人
那么的高估我
那么多的挫折
那么的看好我
但是，我只是个女生
普通平凡的女生
我不是你们想象中的那么的坚强
好不好？
我有哥等于没有哥
我也宁愿不当你是我的哥
因为我真的不容许
谁去伤害我家的老人家！！
为什么不能让他们过的安宁点呢？
我能当成什么事都没有发生，或者我能不理所有的事
但是我做不出！！
我真的太过于重感情了！
我把所有的事都看得太重了对吧？
我该放手了吗？我该放弃你们吗？
我做不出！！ 我放不了手！
哥，你一次一次的打击我
一次一次的让我觉得呼不到吸
我不想再帮下去了~
我帮你，谁来帮我？？
我真的不希望家里的2个老人家
每天要带着提心吊胆的心情来渡过他们的日子

我每次都告诉自己
好，过了这次
就好~忍耐点
过了这些，我的日子会好过点
很快的我就会跟这种生活说byebye~
但是，
为什么你要一直缠着我？
我真的累跨了！！
家里的两个老人家
哭着在你面前问你： girl~怎样？我不知道该怎样啦！！ 真的烦死了~妈咪老了啦，今天不知道明天会发生什么事~
我的天啊！讲那么感性的话做么！
更让我压力！！！
我觉得自己好没有用
什么都帮不上忙！！！
心真的累了~

I am single but i am not available

今天的我有点感性
也有点情绪化
早上的我是如此的开心
下午的我是如此的生气 （因为死老太婆，太高估我们，那么的难的考卷，thanks for fail me !!!)
傍晚的我竟然下起大雨！！
我自己也不知道原因！！
我一个不小心打开了我们之前的照片
我又发作了！！！
整个脑海里都是浮现着我们曾经的回忆
我真的累了，真的累了
我几时才能摆脱掉这种感觉
真的很让我烦恼啊~也让我觉得很辛苦

刚才有人问起我：
melody，如果他回来你身边，你愿意在会一起吗？？

其实这个问题，我也问过我自己
我也没办法给到一个完整的答案给我自己
就顺其自然吧，勉强不来的
虽然心里还是有着他
坦白点其实还是有在等他回来的一天
但是也随着时间于等待的过去
心也慢慢的觉得累了起来
开始在问自己：
到底在搞些什么
如果他真的回来我的身边
我该开心还是担心几时会受伤
我也问过我自己，我是否能够承受
第二次来的伤
第二次来的打击
第二次来的刺激

原来，我不能
我不想再受伤
所以这也是我不愿意接受新的恋情的原因
现在对我来说，
感情是种伤害
越久的感情折磨就越大
我不敢去奢望
不敢去期望
不敢去想
因为没有那个勇气去接受那种痛

或许当有天
当我遇到我的真爱
我会有不同的想法
因为人总是不停的长大